I've been very focused lately, so 3 cheers and 3 cheers and 3 cheers for me! :) I don't think I've done that much revision in a week. Plus, tuition! I now have E Math, A Math, English, Biology and Chemistry. It seems like I'm proud to have tuition. Haha, it pushes me. Yayness.

Because I really don't know what to do with my future, my conclusion is, to work really hard for O Levels, do my best, get it done, go on a blue-sky holiday, and then decide when the results come out. I don't care already. Thinking and talking about my future, of what JC is wasting my time. I know what I want anyway, and it's not very assuring. Priorities or Passion? I don't care, whatever.

Mom promised to take me to BANGKOK after O Levels :DDDD.
I promised myself to go to America to study. But, I need to save up first :) But hey, I have a US$150 voucher on tickets (to travel) because of my wonderful complaint letter, yaynesssss.

Studying with Sharron tomorrow. I'm not going to talk until I finish 2 chapters. I'm very strict with myself now, or else NO RETAIL THERAPY.

SPC asked if I have common sense the other day. This is the part where you go, "WHAT THE HELL."

"Turtlethel!"
"Is this the part where I go EEW? Oh, that's my cue. EEW."

GOOOOOOOOD WEEEK.
OH! Before I end this, read Chrystal's blog. She mentioned me. No la, it's a funny entry. To add on, I was tearing when I saw the person's atrocious ass-crack. It was gross.

24 April 2007, 0001 hours, Anne's house,
"Shit, ABIGAIL." Her eyes opened so wide, it was as if her eyeballs could come out. It's the results, she thought.
"I'm not ready! I'm not ready! Don't tell me! Shut up!"
"ANNNNNNNEEEE! We got a {Pause} *vulgarity censored* GOLDDDDD!"
"AAHHHHH!"
And there was a rumour that I cried, but I was ecstatic, never been in such a great mood for a very very very longggggg time. Maybe since my birthday :D

GOLD.
A flipping GOLD. I can't believe COP came into my mind. It felt like a silver, but knowing that's it's a shiny shimmering GOLD just makes me feel dreamy. Last night, I was wondering if I was falling in love. You know, how it's like? You start smiling to yourself everywhere, everytime. I'm in an amazing mood that I had such a great time in class with Amanda.
"Dance like you've never danced before!"
"Eh, if she dance like she's never danced before, then how would she know how to dance."
And there's more. And all the poppy M&M's. Ahhh, it's a goooood day. It was coolness, when Mrs Joseph ignored us when we were making so much noise, right under her nose. And when they announced it, we practically jumped up before they asked us toooo! And we were cheering and jumping so much, for, uh, umm, ourselves! The whole thing was just so dramatic, with touch of bimbo-ness, and a whole spoonful of LOVE! I will never forget the night, nor will I forget the experience right from the auditions.

And after school, it was really funny. The whole class, except 11 of us stayed for Biology. Make that 9, because Maxine and Melanie went for their Science Competition. It was a TWOT. In short for, TOTAL WASTE OF TIME. It was pointless. Argh.

GOLD, baby!

Awesome day, oui? Oui!

I'm really stressed. Anytime, anytime now, I'm going to snap again.
I don't know what to do after O's, I really want to know what to go far, just in case I want to use Direct School Admission. What am I talking about, I feel like I'm not studying hard enough. And what am I doing? I am sitting in front of the laptop, BLOGGING. This is not working out. I might close this down, or I could just not blog for a really really longggggg time.

When Guitar Ensemble got Gold with Honours, I was so happy and proud of them, and there was a sudden wave of depression. I feel like crap all over again. Results out next week. This is not good, not good at all. I won't be able to concentrate on my studies. Even so, I'm so proud of Guitar Ensemble! :)

I'm going on hiatus.
Till then,
Goodbye.

I never thought I could cry so much in one week three days. It's been a horribly emotional week. I don't think I did much but cry.

Drama, baby!
In Secondary One, I didn't get into Drama. And I got into Guitar. Honestly, it was quite reluctant to join Guitar because I knew there was no way I could survive four years. And that lead to trying to console myself, by motivating myself to be like my favourite boyband. But I guess it failed. In April, just before Exam Break, I remember requesting to be transferred to another CCA, obviously Drama. I had to go through another round of auditions, held by Amber. And I recall her saying, "If I had to choose between the both of you, I would choose you." Instantly, I knew I would get in. True enough, I did. I had a really hard time at first, because I didn't really like the people there, and vice versa. And I remember, one of which is ABI. And I can't believe how that happened. As time went by, I guess in Secondary Three, being in the same class, the same play, The Anklet, we kinda got closer. And even closer because of SYF.

I will miss all the improvisation games.
I will miss all the warm-ups.
I will miss Joy's, "ANNE! ARE YOU TAKING FOURTEEN?!"
I will miss Abi's, " WHAT, SHE DIDN'T COME AGAIN?" But not the string of vulgarties following it.
I will miss all the rushing every monday. After school, council meeting, tutorial, and Drama.
I will miss, "ABI! HURRY UP! WE'RE LATE!"
I will miss, Abi's reply, "WAIT! WHAT HOMEWORK DO WE HAVE?!"
I will miss, Nicole Shaan's ,"HI NIT!"
I will miss Abu's "HEY SEXY!"
I will miss Rosy's BIG butt.
I will miss Suzlynn's hair.
I will miss talking with Jill in tagalog, and no one understands!
I will miss Miss Chen's ,"Girls, when a teacher comes into a class what do you do?"
I will miss closing the partition.
I will miss "You have two minutes to run to the canteen, get your food, and be back here." during SYF.
I will miss the games.
I will miss the " DRAMA! THIS IS NOT A CIRCLE!"
I will miss the "CIRCLE PEOPLE! CIRCLE!"
I will miss the " SHUT UP!"
I will miss Bob scaring the helloutof me.
I will miss standing in between people who like to talk so much.
I will miss, the good long half an hour breaks we used to have.
I will miss coming back for CCA during the holidays.
You know what, the list is so long. I WILL MISS DRAMA. I think that would do.

I never thought that this day would come so quickly. It was awful. Everyone cried their hearts out today. I never thought that Drama meant that much to me. I'm so glad, that I made that decision to follow my heart, my passion. I Y DRAMA. It's a part of me, even if I'm not a part of the CCA anymore.

Always in my heart, Drama.
Always in my heart and soul, the passion for acting.
Y

I thank each and everyone of you, from the first batch of Drama seniors I had, to the last batch of Drama juniors I have. You guys are awesome. I LOVE YOU ALL.

I've let you down, but most importantly, I've let myself down. This is depressing. I don't think I have ever been so disappointed with myself, EVER.

I don't want to lie to myself, or to us, that we did well. We may have done good, but we could have been better. Better, does not mean, getting a gold instead of a silver, or whatsoever. Because to me, it's not because of that medal anymore. We could have been better if we were more focused, actually know who to follow, and be more professional. Days before SYF, I still didn't know who to follow. RAH.

I don't think I can make myself say, "I'm sorry, that was my best." when the results come out, because in me, I know clearly, that was not my best. Unlike other CCAs, who know they have done their best, enjoyed that few minutes, I can't, because it was not my best. I know I should let go, because there's nothing I can do now. But, it is not that easy, I may not think of it, but I feel it. I feel the disappointment, the regret if I ever not put in my 100%, the fact that I can't turn back time, and enjoy that moment. To think, before that, I was tearing, not because I was nervous, but because I was so happy, to actually have the oppurtunity to be on that stage, under that limelight. When I had the confidence, I had to screw up.

I wish I'm proud of myself, like people say they are proud of me. Inside me, that feeling is going to haunt me, the disappointment in myself. It's like all of a sudden, I couldn't see WHY I even got into Drama, I doubted myself because of the disappointment I feel for not being my best for that 20 minutes. I can't say, "Don't be disappointed, you've done your best!" BECAUSE LIKE I HAVE SAID, IT WAS NOT MY BEST.

This is so painful. It's torturous. But THE PASSION lives on.

I promise I won't tell anyone about our love.

April is such a stressful month. SYF is 3 days away, MYE is 22 days away, 2.4 is 6 days away, and I just had my Taekwondo Grading. If I may, I think I deserve a Double Promotion, compared to the other White Belts.

SYF, like I said is in 3 days. I'm getting excited and all, and I believe that we can reach our fullest potential. Everyone's putting in thrice the effort after knowing, that Indian Dance has got Gold with Honours. The pressure is on. Some of us came back on Saturday voluntarily, to 'disect' our characters. And some of us even stayed till 7 on Thursday, to 'disect' our characters. I know, Juanita's getting all stressed with her character, but I think she's doing a very good job with it. In 3 days, after SYF, I will not be a part of SACDrama anymore, but they will be part of a beautiful memory.

2.4, is in 6 days. I hope I improve, which I reckon I will! :D

Bye, loveeeee.
Happy Easter!

While AudreyLiaw, Maxyne, Clarissa, Weelyn and Jo were in lovely Hawaii, enjoying the nice weather, the blue skies, the beautiful beaches, the room service, the good food, I am stuck in school, learning new things, and getting stressed. I was enjoying my really bad week. Sounds great, eh? But, I had fun with Michelle and Ethel, although I felt a bit bimbo once in a while. Hahaha. A couple of secrets :D Ethel's really funny when she thinks someone's angry with her.

Moving on, SYF is in 10 days. Which means, in 10 days, I would not have a CCA. Sounds great? Nope, not if you're CCA is Drama. I remember how I was rambling to a friend on Friday night about it. It's like, Drama has grown into me, Drama is in me, and is a part of me. And now, even if they give us extra SYF rehearsals, I wouldn't mind, because it's going to be the last few ): I mean, for 3 years, I have a CCA, and sooner or later I don't. My weeks will feel so empty without 6 hours of CCA per week. You must be thinking I'm nuts. But, my CCA is DRAMA!

School's been very stressful. I've been trying to revise for the upcoming exams but I don't know where to start. I'm very scared, MYE's in just a few weeks. And there's just about 30 weeks to O' Levels. At the rate I'm going, my L1R5 will be sky high, and I wouldn't want that. Basically, last week, almost every teacher came in to our class, would be chasing us for our homework. And everyone is just overwhelmed by the workload, the notes, the thickness of our files. It's like, we get 2cm worth of notes/homework per week. And the thing is, they compare us to be previous batches of 4.6. But honestly, we are not alike. We have an extra subject, and it had to be Biology.

YOU.
And who I thought would understand, never understood.
Instead you vent your anger at me, like I'm your punching bag.
Is it my fault that you're having a bad day?
I don't vent my anger on you when I'm having a bad day.
So who are you to vent yours on me?
Even if you're a good friend, good friends don't vent their anger at each other.
In fact they share their problems, so that the other would cheer them up.
You can ignore me for all I care, it's not like I'm ruining things.
RAHHHH.

YOU Y
Friday night was awesome,
Cheered me up to the max.
I think I was sleep-smiling,
knowing that I have a friend like you.
You just make it much better,
when things couldn't get any worse.
I never expected that you are the one God sent,
to cheer me up, anytime, anywhere.
You bringing me back to the green-er side,
although I'm in the same place.
You are an awesome friend,
LOVE!

And to all the little tags encouraging me on my tagboard, cheena or not, Thank you.

I'm missing someoneeeeeee :D